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A mother's pain

Mother’s Day!

For many people that means flowers and handmade cards and Sunday brunches and lots of love and affection. It means celebrating your Mom or being celebrated by your kids. It means resting fully in all that is good about loving and being loved.

But it might not be the same for some people. It could mean tears, pain, heartache and just a sense of worthlessness and feelings of regret and depression.

For some it just plain hurts but, God is near He says:

So do not fear, for I am with; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~Isaiah 41:10

In the hearts of many, this day is a bitter, unsolicited reminder of what was but no longer is, or a heavy holiday of mourning what never was at all.

Maybe it is such a day for you.

It might bring with it the sting of grief for the empty chair around a table.

It might come with regret for a relationship that has been severed.

It might be a day of looking around at other mothers and other children, and feeling  jealousy that comes with comparison.

Great expectations can bring pain and trauma when not realized or brought to fruition.

It might be yet another occasion to think about the mistakes you made or the words you said or didn’t say or the kindness you never knew.

It might be an annual injury you sustain that tears you apart on the inside while you smile your way through it on the outside because that’s what Mom’s are supposed to do, right?

Consider this a personal love letter to you who are struggling today; you whose Mother’s Day experience might be rather bittersweet— or perhaps only bitter.

This is consent to feel fully the contents of your own heart without censorship or guilt or having someone say snap out of it.

If you are hurting, then hurt. You have permission to cry, to grieve, to be not alright, heck it’s Mother’s day and you are allowed to feel it, but don’t stay there because it can slowly kill you.

May you relieve yourself of the burden of pretending everything is fine or faking stability or concealing the damage.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… rest for your souls.”  Matthew 11:28-29

May you find in your very sadness, the proof that your heart though badly broken, still works and that you still have the capacity to care deeply, despite how difficult it has been, See your grief as the terrible tax on loving people so deeply. 

If on this Mother’s Day you are struggling, know that you are not alone. There are others like us that wish we could just skip this day because of the pain it brings.

May these words be the flowers that you wait for or the call that won’t come or the conversation that you can’t have or the reunion that has not yet arrived, or the pain you feel of being replaced by someone else.

Let them be hope packaged and personally delivered to the center of your heart, and may they sustain you.

In this time of great pain, know that you are seen and heard, and that you are more loved than you realize by a God that has given you the breath of life and has called you to a greater purpose than this current pain you feel. We can look to God who is our comfort and know that He hears and see’s what we are going through. But, we don’t have to stay in these feelings of sadness, we can rise above it by having a grateful heart and finding a good memory or making a memory to replace the hurt you feel.

So do not fear, for I am with; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~Isaiah 41:10.

If you are blessed with a spouse or a friend that will encourage you and remind you how special you are even if your children don’t acknowledge that at this time than enjoy being loved ad celebrated by them. Pray and trust in God to do the impossible in your relationships with your children or with your Mom.

Here is a prayer : Father God, my heart hurts with unspoken pain. I need Your help to just get through today. I need Your comfort, Your strength and even Your forgiveness for the times I have blamed You for my hurt. Today I give You the empty spaces in my soul. I give You my pain and I ask You to bring Your healing to my damaged emotions and to my life. Thank You for the promise of rest for my weary soul. I lean on You today. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Now think of ways you can be a blessing to others. Reach out to a child  or adult who is in need of love and do something with them. Watch God begin to heal your own heart in the process. Go to a nursing home to visit an older women who is lonely and has no visitors on Mother’s day. Invite another Mom who will be all alone to lunch. Look around there are many ways to show your love to someone else in need like you and in the process God Blesses you back.

Sending you Love and peace this Mother’s day,

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