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If you allow others to disrespect you as a rule, everyone assumes you don’t mind.
(I just read that and it hit me like a ton of bricks! Where was this all the years ago when I needed it, or maybe I wouldn’t have understood it until I reached this point in my life.)
And to top it off, probably no one is really aware of your silent suffering — other than those who might be going through the same thing.
The truth is, if you don’t stand up for yourself, no one will. Yes, NO ONE WILL!
I had always allowed myself to fear confrontation mostly because of having to deal with a abusive outcome in a relationship.
I was always a peacemaker and would do anything to avoid turmoil, anger from others or disappointing others.
Don’t get me wrong being a peacemaker is a Godly attitude but when it gets to a point of destroying your own self esteem well, God is not in on that because He says “the greater one ( GOD) lives in you”.
So I would work myself crazy even till exhaustion to do everything right and do everything for everyone so I would never be on the side of being disrespected or unloved. I usually avoided and won many battles that way. But, I can tell you right now that, that does NOT work in the long run, Stop it now for your own well being an peace. There will come a time when it will destroy you and you will want to escape for good.
When you are the one making everything smooth and un-confrontational you bear way to many burdens and weights that eventually overtake you and break you. God wants us to live in peace while giving your cares over to him.
A big side effect of you trying to be the peacemaker is eventually all the loud, controlling squeaky wheels will get the oil and you will be left in the cold as the one who others will just say she “UNDERSTANDS” when you are put on the bottom of the list, forgotten for holidays or even forgotten about permanently for all the years of sacrificial loving and peacemaking you did. That is not acceptable any longer for me nor should it be for you.
We are all humans and make mistakes but many times mistakes are part of this life of learning and growing. But, if you are continually being disrespected in word, action or abuse today is your day to say with all due respect for yourself that ENOUGH is ENOUGH!
You are worthy of love, Honor and respect but, you must see yourself in that receiving position.
Rise up today, feel protected in the fact that you can defend yourself when need be without being afraid of the offenders actions. You are in control of how you react not how they respond and what they do is not a reflection of you, Boy, that took me a long time to figure out.
If you feel dis-respected, un-heard, un-loved, un-appreciated then get un-attached.
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Never allow anyone to MAKE you do something that is not a true conviction of your heart or a lie to please someone else.
The abuser is counting on your guilt, on your embarrassment, on your silence, to continue doing what he or she does.
Staying silent allows for the continuing of the abuse. It lets the abusers roam freely and unaccountable while destroying more good people along their path of destruction.
Don’t stay silent. Don’t pretend it’s nothing. Speak up….For the Love of God and yourself!!!!
I also am not saying to fight in every situation, remember i am speaking to obsessive peacemakers here.
On some occasions, the way to bring Light into a situation is for you to stand up for yourself.
Sometimes, reacting is YOUR best defense.
It’s your time to be the person GOD has called you to be not anyone’s doormat or puppet.
You are amazing, talented, beautiful, smart and worthy of respect and true love not fabricated or conditional love!
I hope your take away today is “Don’t confuse being a Bad person with standing up for yourself”.
Stop allowing perpetrators to run rampant at your lifelong expense any longer.
Where’s the compassion in saying nothing? Where’s the Love?
That’s not compassion. You are not loving yourself, you are not being compassionate to YOURSELF!
It’s your time to finally be the peacemaker to yourself, get it right with no apologizes, just love.
Can’t you just hear Aretha Franklin whispering in your ear right now:
What are some way that you have learned to overcome your self abasing peacemaker ways?
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Hi I am Stacy and I love to encourage and inspire other women to be the best they can be in this life no matter what stage of life you are in from many of the things I have learned on my life journey
Be the best YOU that God made YOU to be, unapologetically!
Always choose to live life in this day,
Stacy